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amyrella

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SEMI-LOCKED! [Aug. 18th, 2018|08:27 pm]
amyrella
[Current Mood |blankblank]

 
 i love friends, so feel free to make friends with me.
as long as you're human im fine.
click here for my profile.

please comment if you want me to add you~
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(no subject) [Aug. 19th, 2010|06:02 pm]
amyrella
i dont hate you. and i dont want to.
maybe im not entirely over you.
maybe i want you to feel the way im feeling right now.

seeing you happy hurts me. and i guess that's my reason.
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... [Aug. 19th, 2010|07:42 am]
amyrella
[Tags|]
[Current Location |1.3725,103.8938]

sometimes I wish I can still talk to you. because even when I can choose to talk to Hannah Zuh Syidah or Cynthia, it won't be e same.

I wish I can tell you how I feel. but I don't to look like some kind of a loser. I'm happy to see you happy but at the same time, it hurts alot seeing you happy cos i know it means that you've already moved on without me.

Losing you was like losing a huge part of myself. because loving you made me smile after that bad depression I had before. you filled up that hole in my heart that I've always had. but losing you meant losing that whole heart.

everyday I tell myself it's stupid to cry to mourn over it. I tell myself that I will find someone better to fill my heart, but each time I get stronger to stand up, I fall again. each time I start smiling, I cry again...

I never once asked God to return you to me because deep down I know it's impossible.

you know me better than any of my friends or family member. you were one person I can always turn to in times of happiness and sorrow. but I've lost you. I've lost that listening ear. I've lost my heart.

I guess I'm more depressed about going back to my old state of depression. but really I just want to move on and be as happy as you are.

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turning 22. [Aug. 18th, 2010|11:15 pm]
amyrella
My 21st year was filled with many 1st... Both happy and disappointing moments.

I still remember how my 1st day as 21-year old was. School started in the afternoon that day. I was greeted in school by Adam with a pack of Yanyan as a birthday gift. That day was also the 1st time i reached home so late after a birthday dinner with Su, Atiqa and Sha at Seoul Garden. I can still remember how much Atiqa shook while carrying the cake to the table.

My 21st year also was when I met so many friends in NIE. Friends that I hope I can keep for life. I met people of different backgrounds and age, people from different areas of teaching focus, art teachers, music teachers, mother tongue teachers, etc. I worked with different people for different projects, worked on my 1st ever detailed lesson plan.

I also slept over on a weekly basis at my aunt's place because class ended late and started really early the next day.

I was left at home with my siblings for the 1st time in my life for a whole month, when my parents went for haj. I celebrated my 1st Eid without my parents, attempted cooking for the time. A whole month without parents was tough but it definitely made me value them more.

I was also driven by my brother for the 1st time, wrote on his bike for the 1st time. As scary it might have been, it was indeed an experience. At the same time, my 21st year was also the 1st time I ever drove a car. I had my TP, and failed it as well. It was also the 1st time I ever spent so much on something.

It was also this year that I fell in love for the 1st time. Went on my 1st date, 1st double date. 1st time bringing someone home to meet my parents. Because of this person, I had many 1st times. I started spending my Saturday mornings volunteering at a Madrasah, doing what I do best, teaching. I went for my 1st camp as a facilitator with the APEX family.

But, it was also the year I had my 1st heartbreak. It taught me that Allah is still the one who decides our fate. We merely plan but our plans might fail, because Allah already predetermine our destiny.

My 21st year was a bittersweet one, and now, I've started my journey as a 22 year old. What lies ahead, I do not know. But I truly wish it would be better than my 21st. To everyone who played a part in my 21st year, thank you for making me the person I am today.

"Age is just a number Miss Sweetness" Yes, I'll truly remember that.
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thanks for the memories [Aug. 9th, 2010|01:59 am]
amyrella
[Tags|]
[Current Location |1.3725,103.8939]

100304 - 100809.

5 mths and 5 days.
that's how short lived my 1st relationship is.

although it isn't official as yet, I'm ready to move on with my life. I may not have an interesting life but crying isn't exactly how I wanted it to be like.

your sweet nothings made me fall for you but the truth isn't all that sweet. they are just nothings afterall.

I will move on. I will make sure my life is so much better without you.

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보고싶어 [Jul. 2nd, 2010|01:39 pm]
amyrella
[Tags|]
[Current Location |1.3756,103.8948]

I miss you dear. please come back quickly.

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friendship [May. 9th, 2010|12:05 am]
amyrella
[Tags|, , ]
[Current Mood |mellowmellow]

i now understand why the people over at farrer park told me to cherish my nie life.
because life in nie is indeed very special. everyone is like a huge family.
we dont have to share the same tutorials, but we can be the best of friends.
a simple meal together in the canteen or even a car ride home can bond all of us together.
a hi and a short intro is all it takes to start going bonkers with each other
simple things that people take for granted are what made my nie life special.
rushing assignments, panicking over facebook and msn, and rushing to print the assignment and for submission.
these are the things that i will miss as i progress into the working life. (not that i LOVE assignments, but school beats work anytime)

and then there's the star. which made my 2nd semester even more cheerful.
someone who means alot to me, someone my parents approve of, someone i want to spend my life with.
well, people who dont know may choose to say im stupid, naive and everything else, but this is my life, i choose how i live it.

yes, my life has changed so much since i entered nie. but im much better now.
i may have lost so many friends that i made in the past,
but if they were worthy enough in the first place, they would still be a friend no matter the person i am now.
i am no longer hurt over stuff that hurt me months ago. because i know, i still have friends who care.

i hope one day, i will look back at my entries and have a big smile on my face thinking only of happy memories of the past.
he taught me to never bear grudges. things always happen for a reason. and i know these are the things that i have to go through to grow up.

thank u.
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coz i love you... [May. 5th, 2010|05:04 pm]
amyrella
[Tags|]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]


 

Canda tawa, tangisanmu
Air mataku, tak ku sesali
Pelukanmu, amarahmu
Pengorbananmu, tak kan ku ganti

Semua yang harus kita alami
Membuat kita ’tuk saling mengerti

Coz I love you, coz I need you
And I want you by my side

Keakuan tak buatmu 
’tuk jadi ragu sayangi aku (‘tuk sayangi aku)

Semua yang harus kita alami
Membuat kita ’tuk saling mengerti

Coz I love you, coz I need you
And I want you to be by my side
I love you, I need you to be by my side
And I need you
I need you, I want you, I need you


#

bcos sayang, this is how you make me feel.

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LOL [Apr. 14th, 2010|08:42 pm]
amyrella
[Tags|]

chak chak chak.
tsktsk
ngah buat ape tu?
saya tgh listening to a briefing. awak?
saya tgh tgk awak
nakal eh

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heaven by your sIde. [Mar. 31st, 2010|12:52 am]
amyrella
You and I cannot hide
The love we feel inside
The words we need to say

I feel that I have always walked alone
But now that you’re here with me
There’ll always be a place that I can go

Suddenly our destiny has started to unfold

When you’re next to me
I can see the greatest story love has ever told

Now my life is blessed with the love of an angel
How can it be true
Somebody to keep the dream alive
The dream I found in you
I always thought the love would be the strangest thing to me
But when we touch
I realise that I found my place in heaven by your side

I could fly when you smile
I’d walk a thousand miles
To hear you call my name

Now that I have finally found the one
Who will be there for me eternally
My everlasting sun

Suddenly our destiny has started to unfold

When you’re next to me
I can see the greatest story love has ever told

Now my life is blessed with the love of an angel
How can it be true
Somebody to keep the dream alive
The dream I found in you
I always thought the love would be the strangest thing to me
But when we touch
I realise that I found my place in heaven by your side

That I’ve found my place in heaven by your side

Heaven by your side
Heaven by your side
Heaven by your side

And when you’re next to me
I can see the greatest story love has ever told

Now my life is blessed with the love of an angel
How can it be true
Somebody to keep the dream alive
The dream I found in you
I always thought the love would be the strangest thing to me
But when we touch
I realise that I found my place in heaven by your side

Now my life is blessed with the love of an angel (heaven by your side)
Somebody who keep the dream alive (the dream I found in you)
I always thought that love would be the strangest thing to me

But when we touch, I realise
That I found my place in heaven by your side
 
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